World Suicide Prevention Day (10 September): Hope with a to-do list, names optional

Trigger Warning: This article discusses suicidal thoughts and mental health struggles.

This message is intentionally anonymous so the spotlight stays where it belongs: on prevention, practical actions, and the people who might need them today. 

Why this matters (and yes, there’s evidence)

In the WHO European Region, around 120,000 people die by suicide each year—tens of thousands within the EU alone.
Men are 3–4 times more likely to die by suicide than women, especially in mid to later life. Translation: check on the “I’m fine” crowd.
Many European countries have seen declining rates over the last two decades. Prevention works, access to care helps, and good policy moves the needle.
For every death, there are many more attempts—and even more people struggling in silence while still answering “All good!” in the group chat.
A practical, stigma-free guide for allies.

Tiny, consistent actions beat grand gestures that never leave the draft folder.

• Ask directly and kindly
  “I’ve noticed you seem quieter than usual and perhaps a bit overwhelmed. Are you thinking about suicide?” Remember, asking this question doesn’t “put the idea in their head.” It opens a door.
• Listen like it’s the main task (because it is)
  No pep talks, no fixing. Try: “Thank you for telling me. I’m here.”
• Stay a bit longer than is comfortable.
  If there’s an immediate risk, don’t leave the person alone. 
• Safety first; awkward later.
• Follow up, simply and sincerely
  “Thinking of you today. Would a walk, a call, or a silly meme help?”
• If the person says “yes”
• Acknowledge the courage: “Thank you for telling me.”
  Ask about immediate safety and any plan. 

Reduce access to obvious dangers where possible and safe.
Contact professional help together (helplines, GP, local mental health services).

Stay present—on the phone, in person, or on video—until support is secured.

If the person says “no,” but concerns remain. 

“Thanks for being open. If that changes—even at 3 a.m.—please reach out or call 116 123.”

Keep checking in. Gentle persistence is care with a calendar reminder.

Support for supporters (because compassion also needs boundaries)

Debrief with a trusted person (without sharing details the person wouldn’t want disclosed).
Hydrate, move, breathe. Compassion fatigue is real, not dramatic.
Name limits with kindness: “I’m here and not a clinician. Let’s bring in people who can help.”

Myths, briskly busted

“Talking about it makes it worse.” Evidence says the opposite: asking directly can reduce risk.
“They just want attention.” Attention is exactly what helps connect to care.
“High performers are fine.” Distress doesn’t always look distressed. Check on the bright, busy, and funny ones, too.
“It’s private.” Privacy matters; safety matters more in an emergency.

• A simple 24-hour personal safety plan (customise and keep handy)
• First person to contact if things worsen: a friend, partner, family member...
• Coping tools that help ride the wave: walk, shower, music, pet, prayer, journaling, breathing.
• Safe place if home feels hard: friend’s place, library, café.

Numbers on speed-dial: 112 (EU emergency), 116 123 (many EU countries), local helpline (see below).

One small, simple, and completely doable step before bed: sip some tea, jot down one meaningful sentence in a journal, set tomorrow’s alarm to the right time, and place your meds in a safe and easily accessible spot.